Top 5: 'Exclusive' multiplatform games

The Big Guns Exclusive



E3 keynote presentations have become notorious for cringeworthy moments. The silence which greeted Kaz Hirai’s announcement of the Playstation 3’s price point was a memorable one. Anything Cammie Dunaway did at her E3 debut was another. But surely the most epic was at Microsoft’s 2006 press conference where Peter Moore showed us his guns that bore tattoos of Halo and GTA IV. 1% of twelve year old kids watching on live stream were desperate to know how they could get those sweet tattoos. Everyone else was too busy biting their bottom lip to stop themselves from crying with laughter. So what could cause a man to temporarily scar his body with a game logo? Had Microsoft spent the annual GDP of Luxembourg in order to acquire Rockstar’s most lucrative license? “This” said Peter, chomping on a cigar with his eyes bulging dramatically, “means we have a day one release of GTA IV on the 360!” Then he tore off his shirt, flung it into the audience and bellowed in triumph. This rampant display of machismo was in fact to celebrate the fact that the 360 version of Grand Theft Auto would launch on the same day as the Playstation 3.



The significance of this shouldn’t be understated as the franchise had until that point been intrinsically linked with the Playstation brand. Of more importance though were the two 360 exclusive DLC packs that cost Microsoft a cool 50 million. As a result of this, and a much larger user base, the 360 version sold far more its Playstation 3 counterpart. Will it remain exclusive? Observers remain divided on this subject but essentially it matters little now. With the release of The Ballad of Gay Tony the world has moved on from GTA IV. A 2010 release on the Playstation 3 wouldn’t have a great deal of impact. Still, when a man was willing to give us tickets to the gun show to relay the importance of an exclusive DLC pack, we realized that whilst huge 3rd party exclusives were becoming a thing of the past, DLC was the fanboy bragging rights of the future.

The Timed Exclusive

The one month exclusivity deal on Rockband 2 seems ludicrously petty in retrospect. Or even at the time. Whatever Microsoft paid Harmonix for their one month head start on the Playstation and Wii versions of the game was surely meaningless. It was just about the stupidest, crotch grabbing gesture in an industry which has become rather overwhelmed by them as of late. At least it would have been, if Sony and Atari hadn’t topped that feat.



“It doesn’t get and bigger and better than this blockbuster title.” What game could Sony’s European Product Marketing Director have possibly been referring to? Had Sony’s convinced Bungie to release Halo Reach on Playstation 3? Was Infinity Ward scrapping Modern Warfare 2 for 360? No. It was Ghostbusters. Sony secured Ghostbusters as a five month exclusive in Europe. Cue plenty of backslapping and self congratulation in Sony Europe, and bewilderment, confusion and pity from everyone else. The game had already been made; Sony had just thrown a bit of money at Atari in order to spite the few hardcore Ghostbusters fans in Europe who had been anticipating the game. In the pantheon of pointless dick moves, this one ranks pretty damn high. Glad to see those Sony Europe executives were earning their keep.

The 360 Exclusive.................................. that's also coming to PC



The PC is of course not dying, as 11 million World of Warcraft subscribers might be quick to remind you. So why should Microsoft, who has much to gain from the continued success of the platform, insist on treating it like an unwanted stepchild? If the PC market is mentioned it is done so briefly and with some distaste before they can then refocus the topic to its more beloved child, the 360. Take as an example Mass Effect.

"The thing we can tell you about the future of Mass Effect very simply is that there's going to be a trilogy; we've been on record in the past as saying we want that whole trilogy to be on the console", BioWare's Greg Zeschuk told GameDaily.
“Our focus is pure and simple; it's to deliver the best game possible for our fans with Mass Effect, and that's an Xbox 360 exclusive. Microsoft's a great partner...and they've really helped build the value of the product and we're proud to work with them."

After a long pause I imagine someone whispering in his ear before he turns back to the interviewer and blurts out, “Ohyeahandbythewayit’salsocomingoutonPC.”

The 'It's never coming to another conso... oh wait it just did' Exclusive



Bioshock was a 360 exclusive and there was no way in hell that it would ever see the light of day as a PS3 title. In fact as Ken Levine put it,

“I promise you, there is no secret plan about the PS3 that we’re keeping from people. There’s no PS3 development going on that we’re hiding. There’s lots of stuff that gets into game code, plans change over time and we got an exclusive deal with Microsoft … that’s not a Rosetta Stone discovery.”

He obviously had his fingers crossed at the time. One year later the game was released on the Playstation 3. I shouldn’t have been especially surprised about this, but I do feel a little deceived. I bought a 360 to sit alongside my PS3 in order to ensure that I could play this ground-breaking game. Whilst I don’t regret that purchase, there is still a lingering sense of bitterness over the concept of ‘exclusives' that stems from this game.

The Head Decapitation Exclusive



The jewel in the crown of the ‘exclusive’ multiplatform could never really be in doubt. I refer of course to the Gamecube classic, Resident Evil 4. The director Shinji Mikami was so certain that the game would remain a Gamecube exclusive that he said he would cut-off his own head if it were ever released on the Playstation 2. Just over nine months later the game was released on the Playstation 2, yet to this day Shinji Mikami’s head remains firmly upon his shoulders. At least the man has a sense of humor. In God Hand, another game he directed, one of the racing dogs was called ‘Shinji Mikami’s head’

Top 5: Evil Englishmen in Games

Take it from me; all Englishmen are evil. When we aren’t tying women to train tracks and twirling our impeccable moustaches, we are rioting at football games and threatening to bottle defenseless children. Hollywood has known for years that when it comes to villains its hard to top an Englishman when it comes to dastardly schemes and barely repressed sadistic personalities. For which I’m sure Alan Rickman is eternally grateful. Even as I write this I’m cupping a glass of brandy whilst kicking a sack full of infants. Thankfully the video game industry is also aware of the inherently evil nature of English DNA and has made the general public aware by accurately portraying us as shady and suspicious characters. Here are five of my brethren who have been immortalized in games. Learn from this public service announcement; spay and neuter your Englishmen. Otherwise the evil will continue to fester.

Liquid Snake


When it comes to evil Englishmen, it is hard to think of a more perfect example than Solid Snake’s more educated and eloquent brother Liquid. He bears the lofty and arrogant tone of an Oxford graduate as well as a sneer no doubt practiced at Eton, where spitting on those socially beneath you is a school subject. Liquid’s accent is so English that it makes even me cringe slightly. Or at least it would do if it wasn’t so entertaining to watch him practically chewing the walls in every scene that he appears in. He doesn’t just steal scenes, he kidnaps them. And then ties them to train tracks.
Best of all is his supreme contempt for the American government and Snake’s blind heroism and willingness to follow orders which is in line with the classic action movie hero. He spends so long gloating that any reasonably competent super villian would have conquered at least two continents in the same period of time.
Finally his insistence on calling Snake ‘Dear Brother’ adds that slightly effeminate edge and sexual ambiguity to Liquid, thus making him the complete package and the standard bearer for evil Englishmen in games. Major Zero would have made the list, but seeing as no one can possibly understand the plot of Metal Gear 4 he sadly had to be sidelined.

Pesky Yank who stops his diabolical scheme: Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!!!

Leopold Anthony Charles Weasleby the Third


“Who?” I’m sure would be most people’s response, in which case you missed out on Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure, a gem of a DS game which didn’t receive as much attention as it deserved.
It is clear from his picture that the honorable Mr. Weasleby is a villain, but also with a name that includes three first names, a family name derived from a notoriously cunning animal, and a number denoting his lineage, he obviously didn’t have much choice. One can almost imagine his trip to a careers guidance counselor that would merely involve trying to read his name before concluding that Leopold was set for a career in villainy.
But what is his crime? Well the antagonist is the number 2 adventurer in the world (behind the titular hero) and is attempting to usurp him by getting the ‘Golden Gentlemen’s Suit’ before Henry does. So his crime is, in fact, to try and do what the hero is trying to do. But it’s simply a matter of style, and by employing others to do his dirty work and through the use of clockwork monstrosities, he is painted as a villain. He doesn’t play fair, which to be frank, just isn’t cricket. Finally, to seal the deal for his inclusion in the list of evil Englishmen he wears a lace cravat. Because, well, you need something to wipe clean your mouth when you have finished feasting on the blood of virgins.
The reason that Henry himself (and indeed Layton) doesn’t make the list is that I can’t exactly establish his relationship with the young boy who appears to live in his house.

Plucky American who foils his dastardly plot: Nope, this is pure Brit on Brit violence

Scholar Visari


Unlike most of the limp wrested aristocrats on this list, Scolar Visari is vicious dictator that seems to have stolen more than a couple of ideas from Hitler when it comes to speeches and décor. The Helghast are essentially English Nazi’s so it’s clear they deserve a spot on the list. And the Scholar brings a blood and thunder pomposity to his speeches that haven’t been heard since the days of Margaret Thatcher. Lines such as “The history of these days will be written in blood”, and “We will shatter their dreams and haunt their nightmares, drenching our ancestors’ graves with their blood” are clearly never spoken by someone with aspirations to be a primary school teacher (except perhaps in New Jersey). So go America! Destroy the bastards! Just try not to think about the fact that you are invading the home world of an oppressed people. Well, I understand that it is hard to sympathize when most of the Helghast sound like football hooligans who are going to knife you in the back as soon as you let your guard down.

Red, white and blue warriors that dash his nefarious plans: Sev and Rico

Harry Flynn


It’s clear to just about any English person when they first hear the swaggering ladish accent of Harry Flynn that it will be a matter of moments before the cheeky little scamp betrays you. You don’t have to wait long as ‘arry is quick to leg it, leaving you in a pickle with a twinkle in his eye. Not since Dick Van Dyke brutalized the cockney accent in Mary Poppins have we had a more lovable English rogue. Seeing as the game has recently been released I won’t go into any more detail about his role in the Uncharted 2 story. Just make a mental note that if you see any one sounding or acting like Harry Flynn I advise you to check that all your valuables are secure and to inform the authorities immediately.

Average Joe that proves to be the monkey on his British back: Nathan Drake innit?

Milo


So far everyone has cracked jokes about what you will be able to do to mess with Milo when Natal arrives next year. They have greatly underestimated him. The real question is what Milo will do if you take your eyes off him for even a second. Peter Molyneux has created a virtual English boy. In which case whilst you sleep he will be drinking alcohol, smoking, taking drugs and impregnating women. Evil Englishman? Perhaps not. Young English boy? Now that is something to truly be afraid of.

Brave USA Eagles who can stop his shadowy mission to make all American children speak with English accents: You my heroes. Only you can save the world


(Yeah I know that the kid is Dutch, but the picture was so perfect)

Top 5: Gods in Games

Religion is a complex and at times inflammatory topic that can inspire and offend in equal measure. It therefore seems somewhat amusing that video games have by and large managed to side-step the controversy in which religion becomes embroiled whilst heavily referencing a number of religious beliefs and deities. If you are looking for a blog that is willing to take on the weighty and stimulating concept of how religion is treated in games as a reflection on the demographic that plays them as opposed to other forms of media… I’m afraid you have come to the wrong place. I’m sure that a far more eloquent and thoughtful person has already tackled this topic and whilst I myself might attempt to do so in the future, for now I am content to condense all of these complicated issues into a facile Top 5. Enjoy!

Scribblenauts


God answers your prayers instantly or your pizza is free!

Is Scribblenauts developer 5th Cell a Christian company? Whether they are or not is a moot point. They have restored my faith in the Almighty. When you have need of him, God doesn’t appear through a messenger, an epiphany or through some symbolic gesture. A mere click of your fingers and he is right there beside you, willing to walk through the valley of death. Or into a castle full of ninjas at the very least. And he is one tough mo fo. I’ve seen God go toe to toe with a dragon and barely blink. You know when a little guy in a club is being a bit rowdy and looking to start trouble, he always has a massive mate who looms behind him cracking his knuckles menacingly? That’s what God is in Scribblenauts. He is content to amble along behind you until someone starts giving you some grief at which point he steps in and starts beating the crap out of your enemies. The best thing about this God though is his willingness to handle firearms. Tool him up with a shotgun, put him astride a white horse and put a pimp fedora atop his head and watch him lay waste to all who stand in his way. It’s just a shame he never took swimming lessons.

Kratos


As usual Kratos was late for his anger management classes

The meek shall inherit the Earth? Not on his watch. Just how much of a God Kratos is varies throughout the series. He begins as a mortal, and every time he manages to regain his deity status he seems to be a whisker away from pissing off enough important people to have it stripped from him. But unlike most Gods, whether Kratos at the time possesses the title it matters not. If he were a package delivery boy he would be the God of Package Delivery Boys. As it is, he is the God of War and more than lives up to that moniker. Rather than simply defeating his foes he attempts to turn their bodies into confetti. And any one who can actually coax a harpy into flying higher by stabbing it repeatedly in its underbelly is clearly not adhering to any laws of nature or physics. He isn’t just a God; he is a God killer, so all the other entrants on this list should probably check behind them if they walk down any dark alleys. Chances are Kratos will be lurking in the shadows, itching to perform some quick and brutal surgery.

The Sims


Make their lives better! ... or kill them all...

There have been many excellent God simulation games such as Populous, Black and White and Sim City to name but a few. But those games relate to Gods of ambition. They create and destroy on an epic scale, holding the lives of civilizations in their hands and shaping the course of history. I prefer the idea of the petty God. The God who worries about what will happen to Logan on ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’. The God who smites some one with a bad haircut. The God who cares about what outfit their toy poodle is wearing. Yes, the God of The Sims. In this game God is not so much the guardian of mankind as an omnipotent but obsessive stalker. But this is also a God who is able to kill people, often in horrible, depraved and, depending on the player, rather imaginative ways. Idle hands…

JRPG bosses


The final battle for the fate of humanity is God verus this young man currently struggling with the challenges of puberty

One of the most wonderful aspects of JRPGs is that if you taken even a moment to look back upon the course the narrative has taken from the beginning to the end, the insane amount of improvement your character has made would make even Rocky Balboa choke. True, that development has happened over the period of 50 plus hours as opposed to a montage, but it still doesn’t explain how a farmer’s son armed with a wooden sword which he used to protect his flock from rats went on to kill God. Or the Creator, or the source of the mana for the Earth; whatever deity they decide to employ that certainly isn’t the Christian God, but has a strong fondness for his paraphernalia. By the end of most JRPGs you have ploughed past enough stained glass windows in churches or giant crucifixes to make the Vatican green with envy.
So whilst these JRPGs make the list for the sheer volume of Gods in their games, the definitely don’t make it for their power. After all, if you get your ass handed to you by an androgynous character armed with a massive sword, a pink haired ditzy girl with the body of an adult movie star but the face of a child, and probably some cute mascot that kind of looks like a cross between a rabbit and a kitty, then you can’t honestly claim to be all-powerful.
Special mention goes to Yu Yevon from FFX. Why? Because there is no way that you can lose the battle. Round of applause for the special needs deity.

God Hand


You fight a gorilla in a wrestling mask. This game makes the list

There are many games far more deserving of being on this list. And yes, the main character merely possesses the titular God Hand, as opposed to being a God himself. It isn’t even a particularly good game. But seeing as your special moves involve kicking people into outer space, spanking ladies bottoms and nailing dudes in the balls, I’m going to give it a free pass.

Top 5: gimps in games

Ah thedogbarks, you really have jumped the shark now, haven’t you? Well, in a way, yes I can’t deny that statement in relation to this article. But if you are going to jump the shark, you may as well do so in style. And what indeed could be more stylish that the much maligned gimp? No I’m not talking about some industry CEOs who shall remain nameless. And no, I’m not referring to ridiculously attired Final Fantasy characters, so fans of Tidus can breathe a sigh of relief. We are talking about the classic gimp in all its glory. Lord only knows how I came up with this subject, but I was surprised that the five came so easily. Who knows, ten years from now this could be a Top 100 list (although I sincerely hope not). I was just rather shocked that whilst I could only think off the top of my head of one gimp in a movie, of course the terrifying appearance in Pulp Fiction, the video game characters that are a little too fond of rubber and leather came to mind perhaps rather too easily. That might say more about me than the industry but nonetheless, I invite you to hold your nose, take a deep breath, and dive into the Top 5 gimps in games.

Voldo

Little Johnny was thrilled to get his limited edition Modern Warefare 2 nightvision googles

Voldo has the curious ability to be both the quintessential gimp, and utterly unique. Curious goes some way to describing Voldo, but perhaps more apt expressions would be ‘freakish’ ‘terrifying’ or ‘a nightmare in a cod piece.’ You can win fights with Voldo in Soulcalibur simply because the other person is so disturbed by his physical appearance that they are unable to concentrate. When you do muster the courage to focus on his writhing limbs not only will you notice some spectacular costume choices including some Heavy Metal inspired codpieces, but also a disturbing amount of skin. One of the most graphically impressive but upsetting aspects of his appearance in the Dreamcast Soulcalibur was noticing that he has fairly prominent veins on his posterior.
Fulfilling the basic criteria he has a slavish devotion to his master, Vercci. Even the death of his owner doesn’t prevent him from attempting to follow Vercci’s wishes. Also note the fetching blindfold and gag combination and he really is the complete package. On a final disturbing note, one actor was actually used to capture some of Voldo’s movements for Soulcalibur 3. Head of the motion capture department, Kent Kojima said,
“I was astonished that a human being could actually move like that. It left quite an impression on me.”
You and me both Kent.

Psycho Mantis

In Amsterdam all gimps are required by law to have a barcode tattooed on their heads so they can be identified

Psycho Mantis is the thinking man’s gimp, if there is such a term (there isn’t). He is certainly a debatable choice as he doesn’t share most of the necessary qualities to be a gimp. In fact Grey Fox seems far more fitting for the role, with his penchant for getting him to ‘Make me feel!’ When Snake obliges by punching him in the chops he screams out ‘Hurt me more!’ Usually the judges would be voting for Grey Fox, but Psycho Mantis has an elegant and classical style with a nostalgic World War II gimp sense to it thanks to the fetching gas mask. With the parental abuse he suffered he has the right background to fit the bill and throw in the fact that his boss fight was the conceptual birth of the sex toy applications available on Xbox Live and he is an irresistible candidate.

The Garradors

At the last minute Leon realized he had made a poor choice for a first date spot

The Garradors is probably a name you are unfamiliar with, but if I were to say ‘the big ass gimps with claws from Resident Evil 4’ it would probably spark some recollection. The first time you meet one of these blind and brutal monsters it is imprisoned and up on a crucifix. Apparently this is not enough containment as it soon breaks out and proceeds to try and disembowel you. Sporting a rather fetching gladiatorial gimp look, they are clearly givers as opposed to takers. But seeing as the Resident Evil franchise does have a slight gimp fetish, I would be remiss in my duty if I failed to mention Lisa Trevor, the chainsaw wielders from Resident Evil 4, and the chainsaw wielders from Resident Evil 5. Again, none are gimps in the classical sense but there is enough of an evocative nature to their appearance to at least warrant notice. As a footnote I would recommend steering clear of the character designers for the franchise.

Iwazaru

I apologize if you have a nightmares after seeing that picture

If you haven’t played Killer 7 then you missed out on a fascinating but fundamentally flawed game from Suda 51; the maker of fascinating but fundamentally flawed games. You also missed out on a wonderful gimp appearance from your butler/slave/advice dispenser/servant Wenzel Diel Boris Iwazaruskopf VII, or Iwazaru as he is known to his friends. He is dressed entirely in red and black bondage gear and appears suspended above the ground by a red bungee cord. The dark horse of the Gimp Olympics, this little known competitor is in a class of his own when it comes to gimpery. His only weakness is that due to one of the most convoluted and insane plots in the history of humankind, by the end you don’t really have a clear idea as to who he is. No name, no medal.

Carl Johnson

After a tough day at work Luigi liked to unwind

Our final entrant is, of course, from the Grand Theft Auto series. Can't remember when our favorite Jack Thompson baiting murder simulator homaged Pulp Fiction's most rubbery character? In San Andreas there is a mission in which our valiant hero CJ must don a gimp suit in order to seduce a casino employee who has a taste for S and M. Seduce is too noble an expression to use on reflection. Especially considering that you have to murder her previous gimp, steal his dildo and then seal the deal with Miss Millie Perkins in order to finish the mission. The strangest thing? Despite the fact that you have killed and then replaced her pimpfriend, she then wants to date you afterwards. The raw charisma of the gimp suit can be overpowering I suppose. Even though he only dons the hallowed gimp attire briefly, nonetheless we must applaud CJ for upholding the noble ideals of the gimp in games.

Top 5: most tired debates in gaming

We gamers are by our very nature, an argumentative bunch. Over-informed and highly opinionated, we love to mercilessly hammer our opinion home. Those who disagree must be humiliated and destroyed. A cursory glance at a message board will teach you everything you need to know about the mindset of a gamer. As well as informing you of the extra-curricular activities your mother engages in to pay the rent. Oh, and they are also generous enough to help you come to terms with your sexuality. But to be fair, what else can they talk about? Every possible debate or interesting conversation regarding gaming has already been expressed, posted, rejected, affirmed, and then bastardized in the form of a nonsensical Top 5 list. Here are the Top 5 main offenders of this grimly inevitable cycle, and whilst we still enjoy dipping our toes in their depths of discussion remember this; that argument has been had so often it makes even yo momma look like a virgin. Cough. Sorry about that.

Are games art?
Ah, the classic EDGE debate. As a youth I subscribed to that magazine and eagerly awaited each issue in order to consume the knowledge that it imparted to me. It gave me the sense that the video games I was devoted to were not mere wastes of time and money which could otherwise be spent grappling with study of engineering or classic literature, but rather their intellectual equal. I wasn’t playing games; I was imbibing a unique form of media. My friend rightly pointed out that I had my head so far up my own ass that I could measure my small intestines. I couldn’t really disagree. When the issue arrived featuring Mario standing before a blackboard which had ‘Games are Art: Discuss’ written on it, I knew that if I didn’t change my pomposity, I might end up as a guy who spends his free time blogging about video games without being paid to do so… wait a minute…
The answer: In 1991 Damien Hirst created a piece called ‘The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living’. It was a shark in formaldehyde in a vitrine. This is art.



The real question isn’t whether games are art; it’s whether, considering the company they would keep in that category, you would actually want them to be.


Fact: Shadow of the Colossus is better than Art

Who would win in a fight?


Character battles have been done to death. In fact, they haven’t only been done to death; the corpse of character battles has been re-animated then killed again several times in order to ensure that we can properly beat this dead horse. They have been done so often that in a meta sense, they have become interesting again. Why do people vote the way they do? Why do people still care about it? Why do I still care about it? Even theoretical mathematicians have firmer ground on which to base their calculations than we do when trying to decide if Master Chief could kick Sephiroth’s ass. And yet, unfailingly, no matter how cynical we are, we continued to get sucked into this black hole of gaming debates to which there is no answer.
The answer: Superman. The answer is always Superman.


Unfair

What is the future of gaming?
Despite being continually discussed since the birth of gaming, this debate at least always stays fresh because of course, the future of videogames is always changing. If you went back in time and showed the people working on Pac Man a copy of Gears of War 2, they would probably die of hyperventilation, having obviously soiled themselves first. The technology of gaming devices has progressed at an incredible speed and therefore it is almost impossible to determine where the industry will be ten years from now. The future is pregnant with so many possibilities that we cannot help but go misty-eyed and babble about the games that our grandchildren will play. For us though, apparently the future of gaming is motion controls. Bugger.
The answer: The answer has always been 3D. Even when we actually had the Virtual Boy and realized that 3D could be terrible, the future was still 3D. Even when the Master System did it ages ago, the future had to be 3D. Why do we want the future to be 3D so badly? Well, if you have ever been enraptured by Ivy’s voluptuous form it’s not so difficult to imagine why we have been working towards this goal for decades.


The reason for 3D gaming

Graphics versus Gameplay
Some of you may be even too young to remember when this debate seemed important, if so I also apologize for my occasionally crude sense of humor which may not be age appropriate. Still, it was back in the heady era of the 8 and 16bit consoles when playground arguments over the merits of Sonic and Mario actually mattered. In fact to read more about that I suggest you follow this link to a mildly brutal face-off between myself and toomanywires on that very subject.
Anyway, back to the issue of whether graphics or gameplay were more important. What is most surprising is that it is a debate at all. If the game looks fantastic but plays terribly then it isn’t a game. It’s called Dragon’s Lair. The reason that this debate no longer gets trotted out with the frequency it used to, is that due to the changing nature of the industry the two usually go hand-in-hand. As much as I hate to glorify the ‘Hollywood Blockbuster’ nature of AAA titles, high production values usually mean decent quality games. Companies have to pump so much money into developing high quality games that you hope for their sake they make the damn thing playable as well. Of course this is not universally true, there are still some great games that look simplistic, and some glossy games that aren’t very good.
The answer: Why choose?


This is not a game

And finally…

My console is better than yours
The answer: Shut up