Mascotpedia: Charmmy Kitty

Hello Kitty has a pet cat. Let that soak in for a minute. Ready? Hello Kitty has a pet cat. Still doesn’t sound strange? Well let’s delve a little deeper. Unfortunately we can’t delve too deeply because like all Sanrio mascots, complex characters and convoluted back stories are hardly their focus. Still, this thankfully leads to hilarious and ridiculous scenarios such as a cat having a pet cat.

As you can see Charmmy Kitty is far more cat-like than her owner, less into wearing human clothes and going shopping for example. She is clearly a few rungs lower on the evolutionary ladder than Ms. Hello, but far prettier. The only direct analogy that can rationally be made then is to compare this situation to Michael Jackson and his pet monkey Bubbles. Except that even Michael wasn’t straight-jacket-wearing crazy enough to call his pet Bubbles Jackson. Well, at the time anyway. Anyway, it’s hardly the most flattering comparison for Hello Kitty to be crazy enough to give her pet the same family name as herself, when even Michael resisted the temptation.

As for actual information, she is a white Persian cat that was given to Kitty by Papa, wears the key to Hello Kitty’s jewelry box around her neck, and likes bright and sparkly objects. Apparently she was born on October 31st 2004. Whether that means that she will pass away within the next decade or so has neither been confirmed or denied.

Oh, another fitting analogy would have been ‘The Planet of the Apes’ (the original version as opposed to the hideous monstrosity that was the Tim Burton re-imagining).

And Charmmy Kitty seems to have a pet hamster. Sigh.

Mascotpedia: Panda Z

I guess this hardly qualifies as a mascot series seeing as the very brief reign of Panda Z seems already to have fallen by the wayside, but it seems a shame to forget him so quickly. In the Johnny-come-lately world of mascots in Japan, so many disappear that we almost don’t remember that they ever were there. Like Japanese comedians. Panda Z’s flame has not yet been completely extinguished so let us bask in the glow of its flame for a little longer.

The genius of Panda Z is that he is a Panda that pilots a giant mecha Panda. If you don’t find that concept hilarious and thrillingly cute then you are unlikely to take to Panda Z. There are a series of five minutes shows in which Panda Z takes on a number of villains who are also in animal themed giant mechas. And that’s pretty much it. The opening song is pretty rocking and the show is kind of cute but its just complete fluff, rather than providing hard hitting facts like mameshiba.



So why even include Panda Z in mascotpedia? Well he is here because he is indicative of the vast majority of mascots in Japan that are too numerous to mention here. Basically a cute concept is thought of, turned into a lot of merchandise and then a short and inconsequential anime show is produced to provide some context and to give a reason for the thing actually existing. These cute but meaningless mascots make up a large part of Japanese pop culture. Should we belittle or begrudge Japan their attitudes towards these bizarre and brief fads? Certainly not. This is one of the things that define why so many of us love Japan. For that, welcome to the mascotpedia hall of fame Panda Z.

Panda Z video

Mascotpedia: Mameshiba

Thank you Japan. Just when I feel like there is no magic left in the world you continue to raise the bar of what is considered unusual. In fact unusual is a rather tame expression for what should be known as absolutely gaga, crawling up the wall bat-shit crazy. On first sight mameshiba (a cross between a bean and a dog) is the sweetest thing in the world. The merchandise is splattered all across Japan like a physical form of some particularly virulent strain of cuteness. It seems like a plushy edomame but when you squeeze it out pops a little bean shaped dog.



So far so normal, but of course normal isn't enough for Japan. Mameshiba, as I recently discovered, is a kind of trivia dishing snack. Still with me? Well it doesn't stop there. The different mameshibas (edomame, peanut, natto and jellybean for example) all appear just as they are about to be consumed by people. Then they invariably give off facts which disgust the people to the point where they lose their appetite. For example a man is hooking up with a girl in a bar. He cracks open a peanut. The peanut dog pops out to inform him that 'When you kiss, 200 million germs per second are exchanged between mouths.' Thank you Mameshiba. You have made it even more difficult for Japanese people to get together. All in under 30 seconds? Just check it out on youtube, you won't regret it. Well, you will but its still funny.

mameshiba video

Mascotpedia: Peco-chan

What do you do when someone just won’t look you in the eye, and to add insult to injury, is sticking their tongue out at you? Comment sense dictates that you give them a piece of your mind or your fist, confectionary company Fujiya made her a mascot. This eternally mischievous looking six year old has graced the streets of Japan in life-sized form since the 50s. Despite her status as an icon of cuteness, no mean feat in Japan, any rational person should see danger where others see sweetness. In every rendition of the character, and I mean EVERY rendition of the character, her eyes are darted off to either side. She refuses to meet your gaze, instead scoping the environment for something to steal/kill/molest. Any sane adult knows that kids are not to be trusted, and Peco-chan is the ideological embodiment of the malevolence that all nippers possess. You can be sure that if you turned your back on a kid who actually looked like Peco-chan then your wallet would disappear faster than you can say ‘the Artful Dodger’. Seeing one of these statues of evil in the streets is a harrowing experience. As you approach from one side, Peco-chan seems to be staring off at some hidden danger ahead of you. But as you pass her by, suddenly her sinister eyes are fixated upon you, staring after you as you glance nervously back. Insane paranoia aside, who actually licks their lips like that? I mean really. There is nothing innocent about that expression. Unless she is trying to lick her own cheek there is simply no excuse for her tongue to be in that position.
Just in case you still feel I’m a crazy conspiracy hack, please research the scandal related to expired milk back in 2007…and remember, don’t trust the kiddies. Especially ones as shifty as Peco-chan.

Mascotpedia: Domo-Kun

A face that might be familiar to even those not based in Japan, Domo-Kun has been sweeping the world. I for one have no idea why, but never mind. Yes he is pretty cute, I guess but a Japanese mascot that is cute is like a dog with a tail; hardly the rarest thing in the world. Still as one of the more pervasive mascots in Japanese culture he definitely earns his place in the Mascotpedia. However, I had no idea what the hell he actually was. Whenever I saw him the closest approximation I could make is that he/she/it was turd with teeth. Seeing as this was unlikely for a TV station’s mascot (although perhaps not impossible in Japan) I decided to head to the most unreliable source of information on the internet to do my research; wikipedia. I came away more confused than I was before. Here are some choice pieces of information.

1. Domo-Kun is a strange creature that hatched from an egg and can only say his own name.
2. He lives with an old rabbit that watches TV in a cave.
3. Also in the cave live two bats, one of which has a drinking problem.
4. Domo-Kun sees pixies that no one else can see.
5. When Domo-Kun is nervous or upset he passes gas.



Which all sounds to me like Domo-Kun is a ‘special child’ who comes from a broken home. Some things are best left alone I guess. But I will admit; he is really cute.